Lettuce Club of One... for Today

Today was to be our third Trojan Lettuce Club meeting of the year.

Following well attended student-initiated events in December and February, we had hoped to hold another leading into what was supposed to be our Spring Break. Of course, like most things, COVID-19 forced us to put those immediate plans on hold. For now. With so much currently on all of our plates (student lettuce clubbers and I both have online school responsibilities as well as family to attend to, after all), today's event day has come with none of the fanfare afforded the preceding events.

On today's menu: a Banana Tonic from
smoothie/juice cook book Green Smoothies.

Of course, the need for stress relief and competitive silliness inherent in the club's mission statement is needed more than ever. On a recent flashback post on Instagram from Lettuce Club's first foray into leafy combat, a colleague commented that we should hold a meeting on Zoom, a practice that is all-the-rage in our new distance learning world. While a fantastic idea, my comfort with such a large-scale interactive endeavor is just not there yet, though my hope is one of our current Lettuce Club Wranglers (club leadership) will help their old pal Mr. Scott to arrange an online throw-down should the quarantine continue on into May.

So for today, I am celebrating in my COVID-19 safe zone as a Lettuce Club of One with the spirit of past leafy glory fresh in my memory. With only my wife, dog and cat as support, I challenged myself to drink what is called a Banana Tonic. The simple recipe is one I came across in a book entitled Green Smoothies by Fern Green from Ten Speed Press. Having attempted to down heads of both ice berg and romaine lettuce in the prior two competitions, the Banana Tonic was selected because one of its ingredients is a head of romaine lettuce (in addition to a banana, some mint and a 1/3 glass of water). Eating heads of lettuce does not seem like that daunting a challenge if you ahev not done so before. I can assure you, nothing can prepare you for the bitter, cold core of a lettuce head and both of my feeble attempts at defeating well-trained secondary school lettuce clubbers is a testament to that.

Today, though, I have only myself to best!

Easy to make: 1 head romaine lettuce, 1 banana, handful of mint and 1/3 cup of water. (4/2/20)

FYI: lettuce is mostly water (thank goodness) so the full jar
mercifully blends down to approximately 10 ounces. (4/2/20)

Feeling pretty good sporting my homemade Lettuce Club tee prior to
attempting the guzzle. The hard part is trying to consume the "food" in as short a
time as possible. (4/2/20)

Just one of a few times I thought I begin hurling... (4/2/20)

So did I do it? Did I puke? Was I resuscitated by my wife with a gullet full of Banana Tonic (which, truth be told, if I were to drink it a leisurely pace after running would taste pretty great)?

The Chromebook on the table was not just to show off my technological acumen, of which there is very little, but to record the results for my Junior English classes to watch. Many of them are lettuce clubbers, and many more love to see me choke down what they see as unsavory greens, so you'll have to ask one of them... or try it yourself at home. There are WAAAAAAY worse ways to spend a day in quarantine.