A student asked Soen Nakagawa during a meditation retreat, "I am very discouraged. What should I do?"
Soen replied, "Encourage others." (Essential Zen)
Though occasionally my dedication and purpose lapses, I continue to make every effort to sit for at least fifteen minutes daily. Here we are at Day 46(!) of the Tricycle's 90-day Big Sit. While I have at least made the effort to sit and focus each day there has been at least two day in the past few weeks that have ended very abruptly, usually when I have gone running early in the morning rather than sitting with the idea of attempting to do so in the evening. It has yet to have been successful.
I've come to the conclusion that my "mind" is much too splintered and wild to focus with any real intent after a day of Another challenge has been holding true to the precepts ("... reading or viewing the Genjokoan," "getting more sleep," etceteras) and, though these are not in and of themselves life-changing, I find myself being discouraged when I read the "vow" (as I do prior to each sitting session, and recognize my inability to follow through on all six elements. The cumulative effect of falling short is frustrating, but I endeavor prior to each prior to , during and following each session
On the "plus" side (though it is really neither "better" nor "worse" than what precede it) Recently I have also attempted moving from sitting in a chair to doing so while sitting Indian style on a pillow... actually a yoga blog with a pillow on top of it to provide myself a degree of stability. This, too, has proven a challenge mostly because my legs, though sort of flexible, are unfamiliar with holding this position for extensive periods of time. Like many new things, though, I am sure that with more practice I will be able to maintain the cross-legged sitting position comfortably for the 15-20 minuets necessary (for a beginner like me).
Wow... I still can't believe it's been forty six days, just slightly over halfway to 90!
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