Further Down the Facial Hair Rabbit Hole?

Ho-ho-ho!?

Despite the apparent popularity of growing a beard during the month of November, the availability of hair care products designed for facial hair remains limited. (online they are plentiful, but I remain, for now, a like-to-hold-it-in-hands-before-purchase kind of shopper.) While I have been allowing my untamed facial hair to grow unchecked for periods of time ranging from one month to several months on-and-off for almost ten years now, I have rarely used any care products specifically designed for use with facial hair. (I have done some research though, most notably reading Jack Passion's Facial Hair Handbook, )

Thanks, Mom.

Occasionally I'll consider taking the beard-thing to the next level, and falling down the competitive bearding rabbit hole. This daydreaming is also usually not met with affection by my wife. Just the other day, I wondered aloud where one might buy beard-care products like moustache wax. Her response? "You go into the bathroom and shave it off!"

Even if I were inclined to buy specialized products, finding any for purchase at my neighborhood supermarket or convenience store would be near impossible. Twenty years ago, I vaguely recall using moustache (or "mustache" as is the more common spelling) wax to handlebar up a 'stache I was sporting. Wa-a-ay back then, the product (which I have zero idea where I obtained it from) came in a cylindrical tube much like lip balm. This past weekend while visiting with my mother, she inquired if I had been styling my beard with wax, and when I suggested that I might like to but didn't know where to buy it from, she suggested a local beauty supply shop. By the next day, my mother had stopped by to a shop and picked up a small tube of  Clubman Moustache Wax for me.

Before "waxing" (top)
and after. 

Ironically, it is during these moments when I begin to consider embracing the idea of the maintenance and appearance of my facial hair, that I wake up with the urge to roll out of bed, walk into the bathroom, and follow through with my wife's suggestion of buzzing the entire thing off. Invariably though, this act of initiating the "period when man with a beard shaves it off," is soon followed by, as famously suggested by Jean Cocteau, the wait to "return headlong to my [his] beard."

So what impact did using the wax have? Application was pretty simple, though I did watch a few Youtube videos illustrating just how to do so correctly. The overall impact was perhaps not noticeable by the casual observer, (see before and after pic to the right), but it did provide some lift to an otherwise unruly (and saggy) upper lip. The wax did help tame odd out-of-place hairs, as well as to provide some better overall structure for the 'stache. My beard is still in the early stages of growth (especially as compared to some of the magnificent examples I've come across online), so it's awkward look can not be avoided. In some ways, I have thus far cultivated the facial equivalent to a mullet: all business above the lip and a hillbilly party below.

With the questions of whether or not I am participating in No Shave November soon to be in the rare view mirror, and the queries about my status as a department store Santa soon to be oncoming, for today, at least I look forward to continuing to roll with the beard. That is, until I tire of it, shave and patiently await the next opportunity to return head long to my bearded state.

The Tale of the Cape

Cape by my mother, patience and photo by my wife. (8/10/14)

Last fall my Advanced Placement Literature and Composition seniors and I read Seamus Heaney's translation of Beowulf, followed up soon thereafter with a quick read of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit. Despite not reading the texts with my eleventh graders, who were studying Language and Composition, we did discuss some of the primary archetypes--the success of Peter Jackson's Middle Earth movies made for some common ground--as well as discussing some of the less literary aspects of the books, such as fashion.

Pack of patterns on sale
for $1 at Jo-Ann Fabrics!

In at least one eleventh grade class, I thought aloud about how cool it would be if wearing capes were common at our school. The type of cape was thinking of was not a "superhero cape" (though there was an idea I had for capes at sporting events but that is a different story), but rather a functional cape like those used in the fictional worlds of Middle Earth, or the George R. Martin's Songs of Fire and Ice series, or as written about in the Robin Hood books I read as a child. Of course there are historical analogs to those literary coats, particularly used during the civil War and the tweed capes of the Scottish Highlands.

Close-up on the collar tag :) (8/09/14)

It was around this time that my mother moved into her new apartment, and had some free time on (or at least I assumed she did). It then occurred to me that the woman who had made my brother's and my Halloween costumes when we were younger could maybe stitch something together. Presumptuous, aren't I?

After taking some old historical costume books out of the local public library and digging through the patterns files at Jo-Ann Fabrics, my mother purchased the pack of Simplicity "Misses', Men's and Teen's Cape, Tunic and Hat", patterns pictured to the upper left. Of the five patterns included in the packet, my mother used the D: Costume Cape and Hood. She did however make a few adaptations based on our conversations over what I wanted the end product to be.

The cape with hood up-close.
(8/11/14)

First, because I wanted the finished product to be as practical (usable?) as possible, my mother actually made two capes, one of the lighter green cloth and the other of a heavier brown. By combining them--the green becoming the lining and the brown the exterior layer--in an effort to make it thicker/stronger, the final product is also, in effect made it reversible. I'm not exactly sure what type of material was used as we purchased it from the remnants section.

Secondly, I requested a slightly larger and more expansive hood (see below as compared to that on the pattern cover above), in hopes of avoiding that "tight hoodie" look that comes with some poorly designed sweatshirts. Though I am not necessarily an "XL" sized person, my mother used the XL measurements on the pattern to assure it would be both big enough to combine and to allow for the larger hood. After the cape was initially completely and I tried it on, she made some notes to bring in the shoulders so that it would look less like I was wearing shoulder pads a la 1980's women's fashion.

I was very impressed (and very happy) with how well the cape and hood came out. My mother did a fantastic job putting the piece together. It is also much warmer than I had anticipated, a wonderful surprise. My intent is to occasionally wear the cape to school, and given its weight autumn looks to be the best season during which to wear it. Even my wife, who insists it's a costume and not to be worn in public, was very impressed with the quality, telling me that "your mother should sell these on the internet." Not to be dissuaded from establishing a new fashion trend, I've already planned to wear it to the premiere of the The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (a terrible title) in December, and, obviously) on Halloween, two places it will be accepted, as well as some less likely venues... perhaps my son's collegiate cross-country meets?

Hood up... not so bad-a** with a cheesy smile. (8/10/14)

A VERY macho shot with Black Beard the kitten and I. (8/10/14)

Now Even I Can Tie a Bow Tie!

With a day off from school, and a few hours(!) to burn, I set about late this afternoon  to attempt to learn how to properly tie a bow tie. I had purchased one a few weeks ago when visiting my stepson at college and figured  there might be no better time than the present to give it a go...

After watching four different "how to" videos on Youtube and reading numerous charts on Pinterest, this evening I finally figured out how to tie a bow tie. For whatever reason, it was the video above featuring Mike Gonsalves (aka "brother" of www.sisterbrotherstyle.com) that finally allowed it to all come together for me. After repeated viewings perhaps the best advice he gave was the reminder that "there is no such thing as a perfect bow tie." Like most, the most challenging element of the know was the back knot, which Mike explained using a taco metaphor, and--HUZZAH--it worked!

Mission accomplished! (11/11/13)

Comic Book Beard: Mighty Samson

Far left: Mighty Samson #2 (1965),
Middle and Far Right: Project Superpowers #4 (2008). 

Finding comic book characters with beards is not as easy as it sounds. In an effort to avoid posting only a variety of poses and iterations of the same two to three characters commonly shown bearded by the Big Two (DC and Marvel), I find myself digging very deeply into my collection (and memory). In addition to simply showcasing a whiskered warrior, it is also an opportunity to revisit some characters of yesteryear who may not get as much recognition on the recent "New Releases" table as he may once have. Take Mighty Samson, for example.

Cover to Project Superpowers #4
(2008) by Alex Ross.

Cover to Mighty Samson #2 (1965),
no art credits given.

Originally created wa-a-a-ay back in 1964 by writer Otto Binder and artist Frank Thorne to be a member of Gold Key Comics stable of characters, my own introduction to Mighty Samson came from the considerably more recent  2007 Dynamite Entertainment series, Project Superpowers. Project Superpowers, from artists Alex Ross, revived many Golden Age comic book characters. The visual design of the character was inspired by the Gold Key Comics version from the mid-Sixties. Less well known than other more iconic Gold Key comic book characters then and now, Mighty Samson's lack of name recognition outside a small group of fans is best attributed to the absence of any licensing featuring him to other media; he has never appeared on television, in theaters, or as an action figure.

A beardless Mighty Samson
attempted a comeback in 2010
lasting 4 issues.

Mighty Samson as rendered
on the cover to SuperPowers:
Meet the Bad Guys #3 (2009)
by Alex Ross.

Despite simplistic "costuming," Mighty Samson has a unique (in comic book terms, anyway) "origin." With no secret identity, Mighty Samson is a direct descendant of the biblical figure. Like his ancestor, Samson had immense strength and endurance, but could lose his powers when his hair was cut. Samson only learned about his heritage when he was a grown man, after his mother revealed his ancestry.

The Project Superpowers character (an amalgam of both Gold Key's and the even older Fox Feature Syndicate version) was the first time he is depicted with a beard. This is an older, more experienced (and completely--not just his left eye--blinded) version of the character who's beard is used to reflect the wizened perspective. As was the case with the majority of Golden Age characters re-introduced to the comic book collector with both SuperPowers' series (as well as one-shots and minis), Mighty Samson was rarely afforded the narrative spotlight but was more often than not used as background fodder. This is not to suggest the characterization was weak, just that here were so many characters vying for time in a book featuring over twenty Golden Age superheroes in any given issue.

As uncommon as unshaven super men are in comic books now, it makes sense that those published during the Golden Age would be even less likely; the negative association attributed to those with beards (as well as the adolescent comic book fans' inability to emulate any whiskered favorite character) would make such a characterization nuance difficult to make profitable. Perhaps someday, as the no-shave aesthetic becomes more mainstream, the comic book world will be ready for the first full bearded superhero!

Thoughts Going Into Novembeard

With sports beards in the news recently with the Red Sox making their harried run to another World Series appearance, it is no surprise that Boston players and their beards in various stages of "development" were recently featured in an online article entitled A Six Stage Manual For Growing Out Your Face Pubes This Coming November. Not so sure how much I like the word choice ("pubes"?) but the sentiment is one I can get behind as I am heeding the clarion call to beardedness a few weeks early in an effort to maximize my November. (That there are "purists" out there who suggest it's not No Shave November if you start in October--spare me!)

The blogger with misguided
goatee, circa 1992-ish.

It sure is funny how facial hair, in general, and the month of November have now been married in the cultural zeitgeist in such a way that even the stigma attached to growing a mustache have been given a pass for the sake of a good cause in the form of Movember. Good cause or not, while I applaud those raising funds toward prostate cancer awareness via growing a mustache, I will donate my funds and defy the rules which strictly prohibit the "joining of the mo to your sideburns" as that makes it a beard. It is just too difficult to grow out "the mo." Given my poorly executed attempts at pulling off both a goatee (see pic to left) and an honest-to-goodness mustache (pics have mysteriously disappeared) it is for the best. Though I am sure half the "fun" is growing a crappy looking 'stache, my half-hearted attempt would like just get me followed by police when I walk around my neighborhood.

I will , however embrace the coolness of cultivating a hilly-billie beard... at least until my wife gently suggests that it (and the roughly fifty years a huge white beard adds to my appearance) needs to go. I am committed to the manliness of No Shave November, just not enough to ruin my marriage over. Today, after one week of abstaining from the self-mutilation that is shaving one's face, I am just slightly beyond Stage 1: The “Oh, ya I forgot to shave," or as my wife refers to it, the "You Look Like a Wreck" stage.

An occasional summer beard-wearer (and ultimately, shaver), each time my chin is shorn, I am quickly reminded that Jean Cocteau's related words are more a truism than merely just a clever quote: “There is always a period when a man with a beard shaves it off. This period does not last. He returns headlong to his beard.”

Idiom Fun: Hot As A What?!

Plastic bracelets from yesteryear; well, 2006 anyway. (9/15/13)

As a teacher in the upstate New York suburb of Greece, New York, and even furthermore a teacher at Greece Athena High School, most folks outside the region have a sense of where I live either by our presumed proximity to Buffalo (it's not that close) or as the school where the autistic student scored "all those threes" in 2006. While Jason McElwain's ESPY Award winning performance (and the incredible circumstances that made the story noteworthy in the first place) continues to be well documented, this post is about a little known corner of the "J-Mac"-verse that I was recently reminded of.

Upon returning from our most recent summer break, I was pleased to find that someone had anonymously gifted me with a unique present. While Jason and I have coached together the past few years (not basketball, but the high school sport that he earned his first athletic recognition as a student-athlete: cross-country running) I had only been part of the Athena school community for a few short months when the "J-Mac" story struck. I had just begun teaching on the building's third floor, which was at that point a separate (other than by name and location) middle school program. I wasn't at the game and I really didn't even get "it." At first.

In the days following the national exposure of his story, all types of t-shirts and memorabilia became common in the school halls, most notably two items with competing J-Macisms: a t-shirt imploring folks to "Stay Focused!" and black and gold (the school's colors) with a secondary phrase which for many outside the Greece community has been lost to the sands of time, "Hot as a Pistol!"

The anonymous gift I received at the start of this school year was an unwrapped black wristband which on one side was impressed in bold gold lettering "Greece Athena Trojans." On the opposing side was the phrase "Hot as a Pistol!" with an illustration of a basketball right of the lettering and a small handgun to the left. You read correctly: a small handgun.

Beyond my appreciation for the many great athletic accomplishments of our school's current and past student-athlete's, I am also a member of the English department, and as such, enjoy the wordplay of interesting (if not necessarily well-turned) idiom. The choice of that particular idiom on a celebratory bracelet such as this to be sold in a school is unusual, especially given its use of a phrase that reflects gun use and includes firearm imagery. The fact that a bracelet with this idiom was distributed at all  recalls "gentler" times(?) when fire arms idioms were not seen in such poor light. Of course, in our current climate, given the horrendous spate of national gun violence tragedies in school settings, a bracelet such as this would never see the light of day.

So just where does the phrase "hot as a pistol" come from? All idioms come from somewhere after all...

Most assuredly, Jason innocently used the phrase to reflect how "on target" he was on the basketball court that evening. He did after all make successive three point shots. Country legend George Jones once famously sang the Gary Lee Gentry lyrics that "Lord, she was 'hotter than a two dollar pistol'" which has a very different connotation. In both cases being "hot as a pistol" is a decidedly positive state to be in. The irony here is that in the past being "hot as a pistol", two dollar or otherwise, was actually not a good thing.

I would imagine that initially the idiom was intended to reflect the poor quality of an inexpensive (two dollar) pistol. Being "cheap" (and small), an inexpensive pistol is likely to yield significantly higher chamber pressures (hotter) than a more costly counterpart. Additionally, a cheap firearm is made of lesser quality materials, and will heat up quickly when fired; cheap metal doesn't conduct heat as well as heavier, more expensive metal. Being hot as pistol may have been a phrase turned to suggest something that, when used, was revealed to be of a lesser quality.

More modern translations, however, are more in line with J-Mac's intent. One online slang dictionary defines a "pistol" as "a person who is bright, quick, or energetic," for example in phrases such as hot as a pistol. Interestingly this new detonation of the noun pistol does dissipate the gun connotation from the phrase making it somewhat less insensitive. Of course, the gun graphic beside the quote on the bracelet reinforces the less desirable connotation, reinforcing the original (less positive) gun motif.  

Also lost to time is the side note, confirmed on Wikipedia, that Jason's Speech/Language Pathologist throughout high school, who was in attendance that night, later assisted him in "coin(ing) alternative language expressions to his now-famous 'hot as a pistol' phrase." One can only guess at what additional phrases were never given credence by making their way onto tee shirts and bracelets, but thankfully, the hot as an idiom has done nothing the diminish the overwhelmingly inspirational message of McElwain's feat.

The fantastic good news is, that either in the past or present, that amazing Youtube footage, and the cultural icon it led to, has not lost its very positive connotation.

Jason McElwain (J-Mac) and I coaching at the 2012 Section V X-C Championship.

Sources:
http://www.thehighroad.org/archive/index.php/t-152405.html
http://dictionary.reference.com/idioms/pistol
J-Mac's ESPN story

Hemingway's Boat Belt?

Last weekend I began reading Hemingway's Boat: Everything He Loved in Life, and Lost by writer Paul Hendrickson. The book focuses on the years 1934 to 1961—from Hemingway’s pinnacle as the reigning monarch of American letters until his suicide around through the lens of the one constant in Hemingway's life during this time: his beloved boat, Pilar. Having never read a Hemingway biography, one piece of info that has been on my mind has to do not with his boat, but with how Hemingway wore his belt. Yes, "his belt" as in the article of clothing worn around the waist to support trousers.

No loops for Papa.

Referenced a number of times (though at 531 pages, I couldn't find the initial appearance easily), Hemingway's manner of wearing his belt is eluded to in the chapter entitled "Shadow Story": "He [Arnold Samuelson] wore his belt over top of the loops--he'd learned to do that on Pilar." (page 159) It can be inferred here that Samuelson, as a member of Pilar's crew and a Hemingway idolater, would choose to wear his own belt in a fashion similar to the captain. (The quote as it appears in Hendrickson's book is also recalled in a more recent Bismark Tribune article about the author's relationship with Samuelson, though this belt wearing is included to make him seem odd, and the fashion statement is not attributed to any influence by Hemingway.)

What would posses Ernest Hemingway to wear his felt in such a way?

One reason why belts were originally worn at all, and on the outside of clothing, was not to hold up pants, but for purely aesthetic reasons. These tightly cinched accessories served to draw in the waist and give the wearer a trim physique, emphasizing wide shoulders and a pouting chest. Perhaps like the corseted soldiers of yore, Hemingway did this to appear more physically imposing or masculine?

This wearing of the belt outside the loops flies in the face of modern fashion, and ironically runs contrary to the advice given in Esquire.com's "The Rules of Belts". One rule suggests that "A belt must be big enough to fill the loops of your pants but not overfill them." Hemingway, wore his belt outside the loops. This talk of belts, fashion Esquire and Hemingway, brings us back around to his boat.  The author was indebted to the original Esquire publication for the money fronted him for a series of articles to generate the funds to buy Pilar.

In the end, it may have been simple sizing issues that resulted in Hemingway's over-the-loops fashion statement. Hemingway famously acquired a German soldier's belt and buckle with the Deutsche words 'Gott Mit Uns' (God Is With Us) inscribed on a crest that included the German eagle and Nazi swastika. A.E. Hotchner, in a 1949 article entitled "Papa Hemingway" notes that "it [the belt] was too wide for the loops of any of his pants, but he wore it anyway outside the loops."

Though only half way through Hemingway's Boat, I am finding the book incredibly accessible and interesting... and who know what other fashion tips I may come across in the remaining 200+ pages?

Sources:
The Strange but True Story of Ernest Hemingway's Nazi belt Buckle by Tom Sanders
Belt (Clothing) Wikipedia entry
Washington Times Review from December 29, 2011.

Buckle-Up: Civil War Replica

Over the past fifteen years or so I have intermittently "collected" belt buckles on various family trips we have taken. While I don't necessarily set out to hit up gift shops or stores with the intention of finding a special buckle to commemorate the trip, when I do come across something of interest (that I would be willing to wear in public without being too self-conscious), I will purchase it.

Some of my choices are fairly obvious and common for the fashion savvy traveler. Take the one posted above for instance, a basic (and,as I recall, inexpensive) replica brass Civil War Union Army belt buckle. Purchased in Gettysburg as part of a longer roadie to visits my brother-in-law in Gloucester, Virginia, this particular one was actually bought to replace a slightly better quality buckle I had bought years ago, but that had been lost to the sands of time following a few Spring cleanings. While I am fairly certain (due to the ease with which it can be found at a variety of outlets) this buckle is a "go to" memento for folks, I quite like the simplicity of its design as well as its implied historic value. Or perhaps it's my secret reenactor seeking to come out and play.

Ever the traditionalist, I wear the buckle frequently in its intended manner with letters "US" correct side up. There is, of course, controversy regarding various ways of  wearing of the buckle ("US" up or down), but I'll leave clarification of that to the experts... of which many partake in the discussion on sites such as The Civil War Reenactors Discussion Forum.

The ONLY picture from our layover in Gettysburg; clearly my camera ran out of battery power...

A Nascent Beardsman?

Following a "successful" No Shave November during which I only trimmed 2-3 times (in the interest of neatness), and cleaned up my neck once or twice, I have yet to fully shave. I've also recently begun watching Whisker Wars on IFC and been jesting with my friends and family about training to be a competitive "beardsman." I'm fairly untrained in beard grooming, so unless there is a "hobo beard" category, which according to the "Categories" page on the US Beard Team's website, there is not, I've either got learn to groom, or just go full beard natural or full beard natural with styled moustache.

My dog, my beard, and I.

As a professional, and with a wife who definitely is not that supportive of this possibility, neither is really as neat and cared for in appearance as either of the other possible options: the Garibaldi (a wide, full beard with a rounded bottom and integrated mustache) or Verdi  (a short, full beard with rounded bottom accompanied by a prominent mustache). Both the Garibaldi and the Verdi have length limitations (one's Garibaldi may not exceed V 10cm in length, while a Verdi is not to be longer than 10 cm) and, at least in the case of the Verdi, one may use "aids" such as moustache wax, for grooming. The moustache of a Garibaldi is not be integrated into the rest of the beard, so one can reasonably assume that some grooming might be necessary.

Seeking information about proper care and grooming, a quick online search on grooming led me to two resources, GC's The Modern Man's Guide to Beards and Jack Passion's book, The Facial Hair Handbook. Having previously read and reviewed (sort of) Passion's treatise, a quick review of GC's offerings only reinforced how incredibly well thought out Passion's book is, especially (for my purposes) the "Technique" chapter with a little part entitled "Shaping and Sculpting."

I would reckon that for now the goal would be to maintain my health, and the health of my beard, and let it continue to grow out a much more. In the meantime, I can continue to read up on the subject, enjoy following Passion's exploits on Whisker Wars, and resist my wife's occasional request to "shave it off."

They Call Me Kiiiiiiid...

My special edition CROCSkin Classics
in their natural habitat.

CROCS!

As a teacher and coach I spend a significant amount of my day on my feet. This was a cognisant choice I made when choosing  an educational path that would lead to a career in teaching as I recognized the difficulty I would have sitting in one place (a desk) for long periods of time (like in an office). I knew that to find myself in a job that required me to do just that would lead to a life of dissatisfaction. Of course, I had in the back of my mind that it would also lead to a dynamic life of standing, moving... teaching.

For the last few years, as I've made my way through the school day, and ultimately, school year, I would query high school students regarding footwear that was comfortable. Most of the time time their suggestions would be about one hip type of footwear or another that, though "cool" in appearance to them (Vans), proved uncomfortable for my purposes. I wanted a shoe that was breathable and comfortable.

This past summer, after noticing many more elementary school aged children, and more than a few of my high school student-athletes, wearing CROCS, I decided to make the leap to wearing the foam clogs while, at first, working in my garden. The brown Yukon Sport CROCS quickly became the only footwear I would don when doing anything that required anything on my feet. The fact that I could do so without socks was a benefit I greatly enjoyed. While some of my initial resistance to going the CROC route was my incredible misperception that they were decidedly unstylish ("hideous" by some accounts) or not professional-looking enough. This, of course, I quickly began to see was rubbish--or at the very least, in the eye of the beholder.

Now, I am a CROCS-fan and have welcomed them as a key part of my wardrobe whether in the classroom, tending the garden or coaching at meets. I proudly wear my CROCS  (Yukons, Crocskin Classics and/or Lined Cobblers) daily, in nearly every aspect of my professional and personal life, even having welcomed my students as fellow "cool" members of CROCS Nation.

If you, gentle reader and CROCS aficionado, are interested in sharing your CROCS story, as part of their 10th anniversary, CROCS is inviting you to share your CROCS story on their official website. I shared mine there and you should feel free to chime in, too!